MicroJokes.com

Short; Yet Very Funny Jokes for Facebook®!™

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Below the following advertisments are some examples...

Random Jokes: Which joke do you like?

• Children: you spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
• If nothing beats a bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
• Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones.
• Q. Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? A. Because it was feeling crumby!
• Who likes Fred
• Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep
• Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
• Q: What is the ultimate rejection? A: Your hand falls asleep while masturbating.
• Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
• A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
• The best way to win an argument is to start by being right.
• *Guy looks over shoulder* "Dannnggg she's hot!" *Best friend looks at her* "Dude that's a man haha"
• On a job application where it says "emergency number", write 911.
• Which is the best day to say I love you to a girl? April 1, because if she accepts you are lucky, otherwise just tell her it was an April Fools joke.
• We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police :)
• Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
• Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
• My wife keeps complaining that i never listen to her... or something like that.

Recent Jokes: Which joke do you like?

• Yo momma so fat she uses matresses instead of tampons :P
• How come Mario can smash through bricks but dies when he touches a freakin' mushroom?
• Your moma so poor that when I stepped in a cigarette she said who turned the heater off?! LMAO...
• Vet: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to put your dog down." Owner: "What, just because he's cross-eyed?" Vet: "No because he's heavy!"
• How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper XD
• I really want to go to the park with you, but not just on our own! Can't you get that in your head!
• Only in Nigeria you see qualified doctor hawking drugs.
• I'm white and I like anime, so that makes me Asian.
• Friend: I'm the smart one in this! You: Yea! Wait... Huh? No!
• Your mama so fat, she couldn't fit through the doors of Jenny Craig!
• What is a person called if they can lift a building... A shoplifter. :/
• Why does E. T. Have such big eyes? Because he saw his phone bill.
• What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
• My dad got a u-haul from the street dirt cheap. He stole it.
• Your mommas so fat when she sat on the curb it turns into a new driveway!
• Q: What did the guy say when he walked into a bar? A: "Ouch!"
• Yes! I got a text, man it's just from you... I thought it was him.
• Wow you are so cool... I know I am, thanks. You do know I was being sarcastic! O umm... No.
• I'm sooooo *BORED*
• Girls call it disgusting; Guys call it hilarious.

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